


frustrated, falling behind

by dayevsphil



Series: side b: masterpiece theatre (amnesia au timestamps) [3]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Established Relationship, Introspection, M/M, Memory Loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-03 15:35:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21658264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dayevsphil/pseuds/dayevsphil
Summary: Phil reconnects with an old friend. Amnesia AU timestamp.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Series: side b: masterpiece theatre (amnesia au timestamps) [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1559110
Comments: 10
Kudos: 118





	frustrated, falling behind

**Author's Note:**

> set after part three of amnesia au, which you can read [here](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1449553) if you're not familiar with it! 
> 
> prompted by anon <3
> 
> read and reblog on tumblr [here!](https://dayevsphil.tumblr.com/post/189449344438/frustrated-falling-behind)

According to Dan, texting is the main method of communication these days. He’s probably right, if the fact that their phones ever only ring when Phil’s mum calls is any indication, and Phil is all too happy to avoid phone calls forever if that’s how things work. He’s always hated them. The thing is, it feels weird to reach out with a text to someone he’s only ever texted to confirm plans with.

The sound of the phone ringing makes Phil’s anxiety spike through the roof, like it always does. He bites his lip and thinks about hanging up, but the call gets picked up before he can.

“Phil? Hey, it’s nice to hear from you.”

Phil swallows around the sudden lump in his throat and pulls his knees closer to his chest. He’s wearing one of Dan’s long shirts that might as well be a dress and wishing he’d taken Dan up on his offer to sit in the room with Phil while he made this call. “Yeah,” he manages to say in a more or less normal voice. “Hey, Ian.”

“How’ve you been holding up?” Ian asks, and he sounds the same. He sounds the _exact_ fucking same.

If Phil closes his eyes and doesn’t see the shirt that’s not his, the soft sheets under his bare legs, the huge bedroom around him, then it’s almost like he’s back in his dorm and letting Ian chat his ear off while they both put off their essays.

“You know, I’ve been better,” says Phil.

Ian laughs. “Yeah. Damn, I bet you have, but I bet you’ve also been worse. Remember when you got so sunburned in Florida that you _cried_ the entire time we played crazy golf?”

There’s the invitation to duck a serious conversation and to just reminisce until one of them has to go. It’s tempting. Phil doesn’t like serious conversations, and he likes them even less over the phone.

He probably will take the out, but he’s got things he wants to say first.

“I saw you and your - daughter, online,” he says, the simple sentence feeling clunky with everything he isn’t saying. “She’s really cute. What’s her name?”

“Emily,” says Ian.

Phil considers Ian his best friend in the world. They haven’t known each other since they were kids or anything the way he has with some of his friends, but Ian has always had his back. They’ve spent a lot of nights distracting each other on the phone or on Skype or in person, lying on the other’s dorm floor and spouting nonsense until they were both laughing so hard they couldn’t breathe.

He’s never heard Ian’s voice sound the way it does when he says his daughter’s name. It’s so… warm. He loves her - obviously he loves her, she’s his kid, Phil is pretty sure that’s in the instruction manual - and it makes Phil feel so, so young.

“Emily,” Phil repeats softly. He wonders what Ian hears in his voice.

“Yeah, she’s really great, she’s like a tiny person now. You’ll like her.”

Something about the way Ian uses the future tense instead of the past tense gets Phil’s chest tightening, and he digs his blunt nails into his palm to stave off the wave of emotion. 

“I’m sure I will,” he says. “And of course I remember that horrible day of crazy golf, are you kidding me? This is so much easier to deal with. At least I’m not in physical pain every time fabric or, like, _air_ touches my skin.”

Ian laughs and lets him clumsily guide the conversation back to Florida and away from the huge gap in lived experiences between them. Nobody but Dan really forces Phil to talk about things like that. It’s nice, but it’s also draining in a different way. Phil curls further in on himself and tries his best to think of it as a good thing that Ian’s letting him avoid reality for a little longer.

**Author's Note:**

> you already know the drill: cat and chicken make sure it's good before i show you.


End file.
